Creative Living: 8 Ways to Stay Disciplined

8 ways blog photo

If you follow this blog or take the time to look through it, you might notice there hasn’t been a whole lot of consistency. I know, I know. I beat myself up about it ALL THE TIME. I tell myself things like:

  • “If you really loved it, you’d just do it. It would be a habit.
  • “Maybe you should change your idea of your career path.”
  • “No one really cares what you have to say. No one reads your shit.”
  • “You’re not good anyway.”
  • “How can you call yourself a writer? What have your written lately?”

I’m sure some of you could contribute to this list and it could go on forever. But you know what that does? It makes being consistent even worse. How do I expect myself to get back on the horse after I’ve kicked myself into believing I can’t do it? We have to quit our inner pessimist, our over-critical, self-doubting voice. It doesn’t foster ANY sort of motivation at all. WE DON’T NEED IT!

DISCIPLINE in order to create more consistently is something I’ve been focused heavily on bettering about myself over the last three years. Sounds pretty logical, right? If you want to be good at anything, you must practice. You must give time to it consistently. So why is it so hard sometimes?

Because existence is hard sometimes? I don’t know, but here are 8 ways I’ve been using to stay disciplined in my creative pursuits

1. Find a Community

SUPPORT. We need it in our day-to-day life so of course we also need it for our passions and for productivity. It gives me a sense of purpose and a sense of accountability even if it’s just casual and no one actually is keeping tabs on me. For example, I downloaded Meet up, a really cool app that has a huge variety of groups that “meet up” to discuss or do whatever it is you’re interested in. I found a writing group that gets together and works on their stuff. 40 minutes on 10 minutes off for a few hours. I went a few times and it was enough to get the ball rolling for me.

I heard wind that there were free online courses you could take through the library system. I found one on fiction writing and enrolled. We had homework assignments and a professor that gave us feedback. It kept me accountable and was actually how I wrote a short story.

I found a really neat group to join called Drunk Writers, where we get together one night once a month to write to prompts on different topics. You have the option to bring your own things and work on them instead of writing to the prompts, but it’s always good to have a little exercise outside of your typical routine and stretch your mind in ways you’re not accustomed to. It’s like cross-training. I’ve started the group where I am now, too, to build that sense of community and also for the practice.

Another really awesome group of creatives I was introduced to is called Creative Mornings. They have them all over the world! They invite a speaker to come in and to speak on a topic each month. Before that though, creatives get one minute to pitch their ideas or their businesses. Attending these meetings is inspiring and eye-opening.

Last but not least, find yourself a creative partner. I’ve had creative supports come and go and they’ve been wonderful why there were there. I’m very lucky to have someone who I can brainstorm with, run ideas past, look to for some building-up when I’m telling myself all those things above, and that inspires me and collaborates with me. So very grateful for her.

Speaking of inspiring and eye-opening…

2. Make Time for Consumption

Like all things in life, there are ebbs and flows. You’re not always going to be inspired. AND THAT’S OK. When you are ebbing, give yourself permission to read, to attend a gallery and ruminate on photography or art, to go see a movie, or watch netflix or youtube, to listen to music– whatever it is that tickles your fancy and that awakens your soul.

I write poetry and most of my poetry is awful. Writing poetry is hard and it takes A LOT out of me. After writing what I deem to be a (semi) decent poem, I’m spent. It takes a lot of energy. To recharge, I find myself revisiting my favorite poet (Andrea Gibson) and exploring more to expand my mind, to remind myself of all the millions of ways one can express themself.

I also try to attend cultural events about issues I care about, like discussions on literature or social justice. I attend open mics even if I’m not feeling like performing, or exhibitions of any kind. These things help me reset in a way. They help remind me of my place, my own voice, my own experiences– they serve just as much as an inspiration as they do a wonderful mirror.

3. Have Specific Goals, Make a Schedule and Stick to It

This may seem obvious, but it’s definitely easy to get in the mindset of “oh I’m living creatively…so I’ll just create when the winds of inspiration sweep me off my feet.” or “Oh yeah, I have time this week. I’ll work on that then.”  Nope. Definitely doesn’t work like that. Creation takes WORK, and after you have created something, that hard work becomes part of the joy you get from it. In order to do that work it takes making a schedule and putting down on a specific tasks to work on and sticking to it.

When creating my chapbook, I started off with scheduling tasks like “Work on Chapbook” for an hour between my jobs. When I sat down to work on it, can you guess what happened? No, I didn’t make any progress. I spent the time floundering about all the poems that needed to be written and all the revisions I would need to make. I spent the whole hour I had overwhelmed with too vague of a task. Specificity is KEY. I began assigning myself specific poems, and would write to that even if it hurt, even if I felt like it sucked. A few times these poems turned out to be completely different poems for completely different projects but overtime I was taking small steps to the completion of my larger task.

I try to always remind myself to be a squirrel. Must take just one nut at a time. 

4. Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself

Building a habit, even around something you’re passionate about, isn’t easy. Set up a FEASIBLE schedule (key word here), try to stick to it, and give yourself a break. Literally and figuratively. Some days you’re going to be tired and you’re not going to want to do it– and some days you need to push through that. But other days, you need to listen to yourself and give yourself some rest. It has taken a lot of time for me to start being more kind to myself. But gosh, now that I give myself permission to fail (most of the time), time to rest, time to suck, I’m so much happier creating things.

I recently read “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert (if you haven’t read it, go do it right now), and that’s one of her biggest sticking points. Creating should be FUN! If it’s miserable for you in part because you’re putting some much pressure on it (on yourself, your expectations of what it could become, of what people might think) you’re doing it wrong. Take a deep breathe. Relax. Think of it as a game, find your inner child, and play. And remember. This is for you.

Which leads to my next piece of advice…

BUT if you want to hear, stay tuned to my Youtube channel for the remaining 4 Ways to Stay Disciplined! 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6ekT0NqTzO1xpG5H1SwDww

 

The Reality Behind Travel

DVNZ0278

Behind all the “grammable” moments, the gorgeous album of photos uploaded to Facebook, the amazing snaps and instastories blasted out for the world to see, the reality of traveling is a sobering one.

First, let me start by stating that I recognize how lucky I am to have earned opportunities to travel and to live abroad in different countries. I know a lot of people look at that with a mixture of incredulity, awe, and probably a bit of envy. A lot of people want me to share photos and videos so they can live vicariously through me. I get that. I do that. However, it’s a slippery slope when you’re not in the right frame of mind.

Even as I’m here, settling into a bustling, beautiful city in Colombia, I see my friends and my family and people I knew at some point having meals together, going to parks, playing games, getting engaged, married, having babies… all together. I feel envious. I feel sad. And I feel utterly alone.

From an objective standpoint, I know I’m not alone. I also understand that these 2D experiences I’m seeing are teeming with loads of challenging nuances that I cannot detect.  And currently, I’m acutely aware that I’m in the first stages of culture shock.

I’ve settled in to a beautiful house with nice people and two cats. I have a space to call my own, a place to store my food, a neighborhood to frequent. I have a launching pad from which I can go discover this city, this country, and this part of the world. It is wonderful relief.

With that relief, the ability to relax, a number of things fade: my survival instincts, the excitement of walking around a new city, re-navigating a language I love, discovering the subtleties of this culture, learning of things to try, places to see, etc. As this “honeymoon” stage melts away, room develops for homesickness, exhaustion, frustration, feelings of isolation and being stuck, even scared, and sadness.

I wouldn’t change this decision if I had to make it 50 more times. But like all things in life, there are ups and downs. Sometimes just going to the store is the hardest thing in the world. Sometimes you just need to curl up in a blanket with some mac and cheese and watch your favorite show. Sometimes things are going to suck, even if you’re in paradise.

So I guess, what I’m trying to communicate is that, while I post pretty photos and share nice stories about my experience, keep in mind that it’s not all butterflies and rainbows. Sure, revel in those moments with me, but please don’t lose sight of the magic of your own experience while you do. I’m going to remind myself of the same thing, especially in tougher moments like these.

You see the picture at the top of this page? My feet resting on a window sill that overlooks a gorgeous patio, lush with tropicalish flowers, blue skies in the background, reeking of tranquility. Well, shortly before taking that, as I ambled my gawky way into the hammock, I fell straight backwards, smashed my head into the bed so hard one of the wooden slats went crashing to the floor, scaring the cat so bad that it flew from its resting spot on my suitcase with her nails out, tearing up the fabric as she dashed away.

All rainbows and butterflies and shit, right?

Not exactly.

And good thing!

The First and Very Long Overdue Post: Part I

I’ve been meaning to write this for quite some time. This and a laundry list of stories, poems, and a novel. To be fair to myself, I am working on the novel– a very slow, inspiration-driven process. I’m letting it be that for now despite the many pieces of advice saying things like Henry Miller, “When you can’t create you can work.” But the truth is, I have been working. A lot.

Due to the onslaught of personal blogs out there, especially from other people in my position, I’ve felt like I had nothing better to say than everyone else. I realize that this isn’t true. I’ve left so many things unsaid to family, friends, and even myself about my unique experience. I’ve been trapped in my head for awhile. Last year, however, I was totally in over my head. I moved to Badajoz, Spain and began learning a new profession, a new language, how to adapt in a new country, new people, new living arrangements, a new city, a new diet, a new schedule…everything new, new, new. I was thrilled when I first arrived, and completely overstimulated. I became caught up in living, you might say. Looking back, I was a bit like that person that holds their breath while they’re taking a photo. I was smiling ear to ear, excited to be in the frame I was, able to capture all these new moments; but as the moments went on I realized my face was turning red and my blood wasn’t quite reaching all of my limbs.

Absorbing every little charming detail of my new city. There are rose bushes in many of the parks.
Absorbing every little charming detail of my new city
My first sunrise back in Spain.
My first sunrise back in Spain

Right from the beginning, I threw myself in head first. With no teaching experience I was teaching 12 hours in schools and 10 hours in private classes, 6 of which were through an academy. I was dedicating 25 plus hours a week to teaching English to ages from 6 to 60, from levels 0 to advance. It was a crash course on teaching with passive guides and no instructions. Aside from a few people who gave me pieces of advice and feedback, of which I am very grateful, I taught myself how to teach. Much of the time I felt impotent, stressed, exhausted, and stretched to the limit. While only working 25 hours or so doesn’t seem so hard, keep in mind it wasn’t just working, it was teaching AND learning in a foreign environment. When Friday rolled around, I was spent. Done. K.O.

During this time, I didn’t realize why I was so tired either. Neither did my Spanish roommates. So, jokingly, but hurtfully, they’d call me things like “lazy” when I slept until noon on a Friday (which I have to say, they often indulged in, too), or after I left my dishes unwashed one evening after having worked a 10 hour day. Sometimes they’d criticize my Spanish, telling me it was “fatal” (horrible). They have good hearts and much of the time they did it with good intentions, trying to teach me and push me to improve, but I was frayed wire, susceptible to the slightest touch. For awhile I avoided my house and sought haven in my friend’s flat between classes or for dinner. In retrospect, I wish I would have taken a more self-aware and direct approach to the situation; but like I said, I was in over my head and my self-reflection was quite low during this time. Anyway, this sort of pressure, discomfort, and misunderstanding on all parts coupled with my own frustration with what seemed to me as slow development of Spanish made the first year a bittersweet one.The sweet part came in the excitement, the newness of everything, learning and growing up so much and meeting new friends, some of which I will have for a lifetime. And of course, a pipe dream come true of finding my very own Spanish Maria.

My Spanish Maria and I in San Sebastian
My Spanish Maria and I in San Sebastian

Christmas Break (free then down)

For Christmas, I took a big trip away from Badajoz, teaching, and Spanish. First stop was Madrid for El Rey Leon with my new crush and now steady girlfriend, roommate, best friend, travel buddy, and business partner, Maria. Then I took off to Ireland and spent Christmas with my then newly-made and gracious friend Emma and her wonderful family. After this, I ferried over to England where I was gleefully joined by my brother, Matt, for New years. We then hopped over to Amsterdam for a longer visit than anticipated due to poor logistics planning on my end. After that, we flew to Malaga and Matt had his first taste of the Mediterranean, and where mine was quenched for a short time (I’ve began salivating again for that sea). We bused up to beautiful Cordoba for two nights, where we met Maria, then we made it back to Badajoz. I had to return to work while my brother was in town, so my German friend studying abroad in the Erasmus program, Gerhild, showed my brother around. We managed to visit Merida, where Matt got to see the Roman ruins and experience the charm of another Spanish city.

Matt and I in Merida, with the old Roman Bridge in the Background.
Matt and I in Merida, with the old Roman Bridge in the background

After another logistics nightmare, a missed flight, and a choked-hug, I waved goodbye to my brother as he boarded the bus to begin his journey home. I was in the passenger seat of Maria’s car, staring hard out the window at nothing before the first tears began to push their way out my tear ducts. When I felt Maria’s hand on my leg I stopped fighting and began sobbing. With snot clogging my nasal cavity, my eyes like rudolph’s nose, I came up gasping for air after four months. I finally stopped smiling for the photo and exhaled.

For now, we’re almost caught up and this is just the beginning of the adventures I plan to share with you. So stay tuned!

If you have any feedback, questions, suggestions, email me or comment below! Thank you for reading!

Coming Soon:

The First and Very Long Overdue Post: Part II

Summer, Summer, Summer Time

Back to Spain

Adventures in an Academy

Migas

A Spanish Christmas

My Favorite Spanish Foods

…and More!